You deserve to have a safe place to live! If you don’t feel safe where you are living or don’t feel comfortable there because of problems with your parent or guardian about your sexuality or gender, we can help you think about your choices. Below, we talk about some of the choices that have to do with living outside your home but we can also help you think about working things out with your parent or guardian.
Guardianship
What is a guardianship?
A guardianship is when the court gives permission for you to live with an adult that is not your parent.
What does a legal guardian do?
A legal guardian does everything a parent does. He or she makes sure you have food, clothes, and a place to live. He or she can make decisions about your education, health, and other important issues without your parent’s permission.
How can I make someone my legal guardian?
If you are 12 years old or older, you can ask the court to make an adult you trust your guardian. LSC can help you do this. If you are under 12 years old, then the person you want to be your guardian will have to ask the court to make him or her your guardian.
After you fill out the papers and give them to the court, you go to a hearing at court and the judge decides whether to make the person you’ve chosen your guardian.
What if my parents don’t agree with the guardianship?
The judge can still decide to make the person you’ve chosen your guardian. Sometimes parents come to court to fight the guardianship, but many times the judge still decides it’s best for the young person to have a guardian. A judge decides a guardianship is best when the young person is unsafe at home or when the young person’s parents can’t or won’t take care of him or her. For example, you might feel unsafe because your parent hurts you physically, sexually, or emotionally, or abuses drugs or alcohol. You might also feel unsafe because your parent is disrespectful to you because of your sexual orientation or gender identity.
How long does a guardianship last?
A guardianship lasts until you turn 18, or earlier if you get married, adopted or emancipated. Also, you or the guardian can ask the court to end the guardianship at any time.
Do I have to get a guardianship to live with a family member or friend?
No, you can live with a family member or friend without permission from the court. (But your parent or guardian can come looking for you at any time.) LSC has a form the adult can use to enroll you in school. If the adult is a family member, he or she can also use the form to give permission for you to get medical care.
Foster Care
What is foster care?
Foster care is when the social services department becomes your guardian and decides where you will live—in a foster home or group home or sometimes with a family member.
How do I get into foster care?
First, you or someone you trust calls Child Protective Services (CPS) and lets them know why you are not safe at home. A social worker will talk with you and if he or she decides you can’t live at home because it’s not safe for you, the social worker will ask the court to place you in foster care.
Do I get to choose where I will live?
If you haven’t talked to CPS yet and know a relative or friend that you could live with, you might want to think about getting a guardianship with that person.
Once you are in the foster care system, the social worker decides where you live, but he or she may be able to help you live with a relative. If you know of a relative you can live with, you should give the relative’s name and phone number to the social worker. The law says the social worker has to check that person out to see if you can live there safely.
Your foster home, group home or relative (if you were placed there by CPS) should accept who you are, and not treat you badly because of your gender identity or sexual orientation. If you are LGBTQ, you might want to tell your social worker so that he or she can find a home where you are accepted and feel comfortable.
How long would I stay in foster care?
The court decides if and when it is safe for you to return to your home. You can stay in foster care until you are 18 if it’s not safe for you to return before then.
Can I have a boyfriend or girlfriend while I’m in foster care?
Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is a normal part of being a teenager. Most foster parents and group home staff understand that, but they may have their own rules about who can visit the house or where you can go and who you can go with. If other youth in your foster or group home can go out with their girlfriend or boyfriend, then you should be able to go out with yours, too. Your foster parent or group home workers CAN’T TREAT YOU DIFFERENTLY than the other youth because you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.
Will I be able to go to the LGBTQ youth group or the gay prom if I’m in foster care?
You should be allowed to do the activities that you choose, as long as they are safe and appropriate for your age.
What if I don’t feel safe in foster care or feel that I am being treated badly because of my gender identity or sexual orientation?
You should let your social worker and lawyer know what is going on right away. (Every youth in foster care gets a social worker and a lawyer.) They are supposed to make sure you are safe and respected while in foster care.
Should I tell my social worker or lawyer I am LGBTQ?
It might be helpful for your social worker or lawyer to know you are LGBTQ. Your social worker can look for a home that is accepting and where you feel comfortable. Also, if you are being harassed at school because you are LGBTQ, your social worker or lawyer may be able to help you.
Emancipation
[For more information, see LSC’s Emancipation Guide.]
What is emancipation?
Emancipation is when you are under 18 but you are legally an adult. This means you can live on your own and have most of the rights and responsibilities of an adult.
What can I do if I’m emancipated?
If you’re emancipated, you can rent an apartment, sign a contract, get medical care, enroll in school and apply for a work permit without your parent’s or guardian’s permission.
What do I need to be emancipated?
You must be 14 or older AND living on your own AND making money legally. Your parents don’t have to give you permission to live on your own BUT they have to not be trying to stop you. You can also be emancipated if you get married or join the military.
How do I get emancipated?
You need to file emancipation papers with the court. If your parent or guardian doesn’t sign a paper giving you permission to be emancipated, you will need to go to a hearing at court. Some courts make you go to a hearing even if your parents agree with the emancipation.
How can I prove I’ve been emancipated?
You will get a paper signed by the judge that shows you have been emancipated. To get an ID card that says you’re an “emancipated minor,” fill out an application from the court and give it to the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) with a copy of the paper signed by the judge.
What do I do if the judge says I can’t be emancipated?
You can either fight the decision with the help of a lawyer or apply again after you’ve fixed the problem that made the judge decide against emancipating you (like getting a job that pays more).
Can someone take away my emancipation?
If emancipation isn’t working for you (let’s say you’re not able to make enough money to live on your own), you can ask the court to take it back. LSC can help you with this. Also, if you aren’t able to support yourself, the District Attorney can ask the court to take your emancipation away.
Running Away
[For more information, see LSC’s Legal Rights and Options For Runaway Teens.]
Will I get in trouble if I run away?
It is not a crime for you to run away from home. But the police might take you to a shelter or Juvenile Hall. If they do take you to one of these places, DON’T PANIC. You will only have to stay there for a little while—just enough time for them to find your parents.
Where can I go if I run away?
You can go to a friend’s house, a family member’s house or a youth shelter. If you live in California, call the California Youth Crisis Line at 1-800-843-5200 for information on the shelters near you. Outside of California, call the National Runaway Switchboard at 1-800-621-4000.
If I run away to a friend’s house, will his or her parents get in trouble for keeping me?
Your friend’s parents won’t get in trouble for letting you stay in their home, as long as they don’t hide you from your parents or the police. They can’t force you to stay with them or keep you from calling your parents.
What happens if my parent or guardian calls the police?
If your parent or guardian tells the police you are missing from home, the police will probably look for you. If the police find you, they can return you to your parent or guardian, convince them to let you stay where you are, take you to a shelter for runaway youth, or take you to a shelter run by Child Protective Services.
Will the police take me home even if I don’t feel safe there?
If you feel unsafe to return home, it is important that you tell the police why you feel unsafe. The police can let you stay where you are, or they can take you to an emergency youth shelter. If you go to a youth shelter, someone from the shelter will talk to you about what’s going on at home and might need to tell CPS.
